Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
