I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
