No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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