this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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