I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
