dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
