You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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