I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
