If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
