We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize