i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
