You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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