I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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