You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
