I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
