Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
