Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
