You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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