Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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