oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
