take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
