Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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