Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize