**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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