You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
