I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
