Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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