I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
