I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
