Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
