Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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