No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
