So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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