Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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