that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
