how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
