Ketchup is God's man juice
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
