On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
