Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
