Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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