At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
