I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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