My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
