I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
