i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
