By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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