You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I had to cum in my sink.
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