Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
