She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
