YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
