What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
