your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
