Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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