I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
