waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize