Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
