I must be too annoying 4 u.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
