Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
