My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
