Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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